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This One’s for The Boys

Saturday, March 14th, 2009

You know, I get the camaraderie that’s an integral part of belonging to a team. I played some Team Sport myself when I was growing up although I never made it to the more glamorous Track & Field events on Sports Day.

What I don’t get with The Boys is how they can have a full day of stress and sweat at work only to come home and stay up to catch the 4am UEFA Champions League, and then get up to send the Kids to school at 6:30am, and then go on to leave for work by 8am. And when they come home again in the evening, if there’s a match, they’ll do it all over again.

Such dedication to a team that is playing thousands of miles away in a different time zone. If only they apply the same dedication to say, helping to bolt the Children’s picture frames to the wall.

But no, mere mundane chores hold no excitement for a man whose blood is Red. In fact, the birth of his second child was somewhat overshadowed by the 22 men running after a ball watched on TV in the maternity ward during the World Cup of 2002. Alas, his Baby is a Girl. Otherwise, he would’ve named the child after one of the 22 men. (The Mommy on the next bed at the maternity ward did!) Such is the plight of a woman married to a Sport.

And yet I find myself joining the Man to catch the graveyard hour match and cheering the 4-nil victory. We even wore matching t-shirts bearing the logo of his our favorite team to an event at Church. Next to the Baby on Board bumper sticker of our car, is the famously known Red & White logo. Yes, such is the plight of a woman married to a Sport.

Would I have preferred it any other way? I guess not. In the meantime, I need to tell the BFF that for us, chilling at her place tonight involves causing ruckus in front of her tv at The Reds vs the Red Devils game. Bring it on!

We can dream...

Tags: football, soccer
Posted in Love & Marriage, Musings | 3 Comments »

The Weekend That Was Us

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

What a rare opportunity to be away for the entire weekend with just the two of us!

There was a call to the Leadership Team of the Church to take a weekend away from the family while they called in Facilitators to conduct a Marriage Course especially for the married Couples in the leadership team. Our Senior Pastor had gone through the Course last year and felt so blessed by it, she wanted her Leaders to also benefit from it. “With all of you giving of your time and energy to the Church, I just wanted to do something special for you and decided to conduct this Course so your Marriages will be blessed.” said She.

Beautiful thought by our Senior Pastor, and blessed we were by it.

Getting to the Course was actually quite rocky, not the least was the fact that we had to arrange overnight childcare for our Precious Bundle. On Friday prior to the weekend, the Children had Sports Day at school, where Big Sis did a ‘cheer dance’ as it was called, so with the exception of Littlest Sis who was at preschool, we were all there to catch her in action. On Saturday evening, we had a Young Adults Group activity to go to BUT I fell ill on the way there. Another fainting spell after going to the loo. Again, I was told it was due to dehydration.

By the time Sunday came, I was weak and stayed home from Church. All of this going on and I hadn’t had a chance to pack our overnighters, which included School-going essentials. We had planned to send the Children off to school from my Mom’s place, who watched over them while we were away.

As it were, we almost decided that we couldn’t make it to the Marriage getaway. Still, with the little ounce of energy I had left, I worked my plan backwards from school day Tuesday and managed to throw in the essentials into our overnighters. After big hugs and lots of slobbery kisses with the Girls, we were off, with Big Sis asking me to promise I’ll be ok and not faint at the Getaway.

When we got to the Retreat Centre, we arrived to a hall where there were round tables covered with orange tablecloth and two cloth covered ivory-colored seats per table. There was a scented candle in a bowl of water at every table that had little flowers surrounding it. There was two glasses of water, some chocolates and a piece of paper with quotes on Marriage. In our room, as we would find out later, there was a plate of fruits, a chocolate bar and a single rose in a vase ready to welcome us into our weekend abode.

How lovely.

Hubby and I looked at each other, smiled and knew it was going to be a nice weekend for us after all.

webnicky_sila_lee The Course was done by video and the Speakers were Nicky & Sila Lee. We each had a manual that contained notes corresponding to the principles taught by this Couple. After a time of teaching, we would answer questionnaires, list our answers and then exchange our manuals with our Spouses. Then came the discussion, which often caused some couples to burst into laughter and playful banter. Other times, there were quiet tears.

Throughout the sessions, we were served coffee and tea, (at the table too!) free flow of water and the chocolates and candies were replenished.

One of the things we learned at this Course was the Art of Listening. We were taught how not to interrupt when our partner is speaking and then reflect back to our partner what we think we heard our partner speaking. When we put that principle into practice, The Hubby and I had a wonderful opportunity to share deeply with each other about matters dear to our hearts. And, to be really heard.

It’s amazing to think that we can be such good listeners to friends and acquaintances, and to the people at Church, but tend not to hear what our own spouse is saying sometimes! I tend to intellectualize and / or spiritualise our conversations when The Hubby is talking, and He tends to advise and give solutions when I do the talking. Sometimes, all we need is for our Partner to listen.

I think we’ll remember this lesson for quite a long time more.

This course will eventually be opened to all the Married Couples in Church. If you get a chance, do sign up. We recommend it highly.

p.s While we were away, my Mom gave the Children ear piercings!!

Adeh….

Tags: love, marriage
Posted in Kids, Love & Marriage, Musings | 11 Comments »

We Are 9

Thursday, September 25th, 2008

Image courtesy of my dear friend and fellow Blogger Mama. Thanks Kawan!

Posted in Love & Marriage | 2 Comments »

I Witnessed

Sunday, August 24th, 2008

Today my Darling Hubby did, in my eyes, a heroic deed.

It was raining heavily on the Sulaman stretch just before the UMS while on our drive home. All of a sudden a brand new turqoise colored Proton Saga cut into our lane from the right and skidded right off the road, kept on going in bumps and eventually crash landing into the ditch, on its passenger side. Both the Hubby and I were shocked and slightly confused as to what was happening with the driver of the car.

So the Hubby stopped our car, came down and walked over to the crashed car. He knocked on the windshield of the driver to check on their condition and eventually opened the driver’s door. It was a while before there was any response from the driver and according to the Hubby, all the driver wanted was an umbrella. The Hubby proceeded to make his way back to our car to get the umbrella.

In the meantime, several other motorists also stopped and came down to offer assistance. Unfortunately, when several of the men opened the door to try to help the passengers in the car get out, the passengers refused and even closed the door. The Hubby informed them that the driver had only asked for an umbrella, and that Hubby was on his way to get it from our car. The men then quietly left the scene, running slightly back to their vehicles as it was still raining at that time.

My next thought was to call someone, an Ambulance or the Police. Thankfully, a Police Car happened to come by and stopped. By then Hubby had got the umbrella to them, and the two elderly passengers in the back seat, a man and a woman, came out and proceeded to sit at the back seat of the Police Car. The driver and the other passenger then stepped out, the passenger limping a little.

The Hubby learned that the driver is a UMS graduate from Kuching, having just gone through the Convocation Ceremony in the morning and was on his way back with his parents to Tune Hotels at 1Borneo. The Proton Saga is a rental, and the driver recounted that he suddenly lost control of the car as it wouldn’t engage and the brakes didn’t seem to work.

The driver then called the rental agent, with the Police also asking a few questions. The Hubby then felt it was time to hand the matter over to the Police and excused himself from the scene. The Hubby left the umbrella with them. From where I was seated, the driver and his passenger appeared grateful to The Hubby. And then we drove home. No names nor numbers were exchanged. And in the commotion, no photos were taken either.

That’s my Darling Hubby, always kind and always ready to offer help. And that is the essence of my marriage to him.

Today I witnessed yet another reason why I love him.

“We need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet… I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things… all of it, all of the time, every day. You’re saying ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness’.” – Susan Sarandon as Beverly Clark in the movie, “Shall We Dance”.

Posted in Love & Marriage, Memories | 6 Comments »